Firing Squad Of Disappointment

Posted on August 23, 2014 by Robert Downs

Chance: A Novel by Kem Nunn
My Rating: 2/5 Stars

If the bar is a psychological thriller pace, then CHANCE didn’t measure up. It moved at a slow, leisurely pace instead of an all-out race. The vocabulary and sentence structure weighed in with a bit more heft than one might expect from your typical thriller, but I still felt shortchanged in the end. I had higher hopes for this tale, but I ended up facing the firing squad of disappointment with my head lowered and my hands held high.

Jackie Black proved a bit more intriguing as a character than the prim and proper Jaclyn Blackstone, and Dr. Eldon Chance certainly had more than a few issues to work through. And there were other characters with issues to spare, leading the charge of disparity and marching out of step. Which did up the interest but I still managed to end up less than fully engaged. What made me shift a little more to the left was the forgettable nature of this troublesome tale.

Nothing really stood out for me. Instead of being twisted in knots, I found myself sorely lacking in the suspense department, and maybe I didn’t know about the bomb underneath the table that was about to go off, or the detective with the threats that seemed a little less demanding than I would have preferred. Either way, I ended the tale somewhat impressed with the writing but feeling as though the story lacked more than a few thrills.

I received this book for free through NetGalley.

Sharpen My Pencil

Posted on August 19, 2014 by Robert Downs

Life Drawing by Robin Black
My Rating: 2/5 Stars

Clearly, I must have read a different novel than my compatriots. I swear to you I didn’t do it on purpose. NetGalley must have sent me the wrong book via cyberspace; I downloaded it to my Kindle, and then remained entirely detached throughout most of this tale. Which as I write this puts me in the minority, and not just any minority, mind you, a minority that currently hovers at 6%. I pride myself on being different, but my sandbox must be on another planet, and I sure as shit hope it’s not Pluto, otherwise I’m bound to run out of oxygen before I even make it out of the earth’s atmosphere.

Normally, I avoid quoting the book’s synopsis, but I draw your attention to these two sentences: With lyrical precision and taut, suspenseful storytelling, Black steadily draws us deeper into a world filled with joys and darkness, love and sorrows, a world that becomes as real as our own. Life Drawing is a novel as beautiful and unsparing as the human heart. What could have possibly gone wrong, you might ask? Every damn thing. I don’t question Robin Black’s talent as a writer, and there might have even been lyrical precision contained within the 256 pages, but I felt no suspense, no real connection to this world, or the characters.

Instead of characters with heart and beauty, I was dealt Gus and Owen, both of whom had massive sticks stuffed up their bums, and frankly, Alison and Nora weren’t much better. I did begin to question whether or not I’d actually make it to the end, which did add a layer of suspense, but I don’t believe it’s what the author or publisher intended. I wouldn’t call the story beautiful, but it did contain an element of narcissistic realism, and therefore, could just as easily have taken place on reality television with a couple of hopeful supermodels and wanna-be actors blanketed in the wonderful utopia otherwise known as LA.

Maybe it was the wrong book at the wrong time, or maybe I just missed the point (wouldn’t be the first time), or maybe I have the IQ of a slug. Whatever it is, I shall slink back in my shell, change my clocks, sharpen my pencil, and set my sights elsewhere.

I received this book for free through NetGalley.

Separation Of Church And State

Posted on August 13, 2014 by Robert Downs

The Butcher by Jennifer Hillier
My Rating: 4/5 Stars

On the one hand, I could give this book a scathing review, clap my hands together and walk away; on the other, I could do a bit more analysis, delve a bit deeper than its rusty surface, and throw in a few psychobabble terms for my handful of diligent readers out there. Let’s see, I think we’ll go with Option B, Alex, and let’s make it for $600, just to make things interesting. And…here…we…go.

More than a few reviewers have been less than generous, and if I could offer up a deduction, I’d say it stems from the following sentence: “A thriller with taut, fast-paced suspense, and twists around every corner, The Butcher will keep you guessing until the bitter, bloody end.” This, unfortunately, does not do Jennifer Hillier any favors, as THE BUTCHER is not that type of novel. To be perfectly blunt about it, another publisher has fucked an author in the ass. If I were king for a day, I’d probably fire more than one marketing department, and send them back to school for their MBAs. Because we certainly didn’t learn that shit in any marketing class I ever took. But in my experience, most publishers are experts in publishing, not marketing, and yes there is separation of church and state, at least in this case. Sorry, the chopper interrupted my train of thought. Let’s move on, shall we?

Instead of taking a cleaver to this tale, I actually was rather happy to bump and bounce along through the streets of Seattle with Pike Place firmly etched in my rearview. Sure, the characters might have been a bit one-dimensional—Matt and Edward were certainly no exception—but that was all part of the experience. Sam, on the other hand, proved a tad more interesting, at least in my estimation. Even though the killer is revealed in the first 30 pages, the real fun is in seeing how it all goes down on the playground, and what will await us at the end of our journey.

With a clipped pace and bodies stacking up to the left and right, I found myself rushing forward with both hands in front of my face to swat away errant limbs and branches. And, yes, you have to be of a particular persuasion to enjoy this tale, since it covers sunny topics like rape and incest and murder.

So, yes, we can castrate the author or the novel for what it isn’t based on the last paragraph in the description, or you can expunge that last sentence from your brain (as I did) and focus on what this particular novel is. If you can reach a separation of church and state, then you may have found yourself a winner.

I received this book for free through NetGalley.

New York City Morgue

Posted on August 12, 2014 by Robert Downs

Invisible Prey by John Sandford
My Rating: 4/5 Stars

I love “That Fuckin’ Flowers.” He may not be the main show or even a Romeo, but he’s one hilarious bastard. He may need to spend a bit more time at the range, and there’s the distinct possibility he’s more interested in writing and fly fishing than he is detective work, but that just makes him memorable and interesting.

The usual suspects populate INVISIBLE PREY, so if you’re familiar with Lucas Davenport and Weather and Kidd, you’ll feel right at home. But if this is your first rodeo, then I should probably ask you “Where the hell have you been for the past 25 years?” By my calculations there are 24 Davenport novels and 8 Flowers novels, plus you have the Kidd novels, and yeah, I’m probably missing a few along with some screws.

The pace jerked me more than a socket wrench; the bodies stacked up faster than a New York City morgue; there were antiques and robberies and a few dichotomies; and smack dab in the middle stood Lucas Davenport in all of his infinite glory. Was it the best Prey novel I’ve ever read? It’s really hard to say, because I’ve read them in spurts and squirts, but it’s a damn good read if you’re into that sort of thing.

Pure Conjecture

Posted on August 10, 2014 by Robert Downs

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn
My Rating: 4/5 Stars

Gillian Flynn scares the shit out of me. Whilst this is nothing more than pure conjecture, it wouldn’t surprise me to learn she was a serial killer in a former life, or that she stabs bunnies and kittens and hamsters and toy poodles during her spare time (for research purposes). Sure, she has her shit together, but she has an interesting way of sprinkling her love for Kansas across 368 ink-splattered pages. It begs the question: What would she do with a state like California and in a city like LA? The LA tourism board probably has had many a sleepless night just mulling over what this superbly talented author could do. Future headline in the Los Angeles Times: Tourism down 31% in three weeks. And if I were Kemper, I’d search for land elsewhere. I hear Antarctica isn’t bad this time of year. If you need a recommendation, I’ll put you in touch with Kate Upton.

Seriously, though, DARK PLACES dropped me in a dank forest in the middle of the night, shaved my head, punched me in the gut, stabbed me in the throat, and then kicked me in the crotch, all within the first 250 pages or so. If you want to learn about man’s inhumanity to man, I can’t think of many authors that do it better. But if you don’t want to be sucking applesauce through a straw, hooked up to a catheter, and have a nurse that resembles the Joker wield a scalpel near your jugular, you might want to point yourself in the direction of the latest Disney movie (probably not Maleficent) and get yourself a handful of gummy bears.

Libby and Ben Day had more than a few things to say, and quite possibly needed an intervention. While I probably would have enjoyed this more if I had even one character I could root for (even the mother made me shudder and cringe), that wouldn’t be realistic in this particular world. Maybe I had to enter the right frame of mind to meander my way from beginning to end, but once I found purchase on this particular surface, I rushed toward the conclusion without any particular illusions. And then discovered I needed a shower and shave and a nightlight to help me make it until it dawn.

Blue-Collared Read

Posted on August 3, 2014 by Robert Downs

Takeover by Lisa Black
My Rating: 3/5 Stars

What really stuck out in my mind more than anything else as I was reading—and even now as I sort through my thoughts as I purge my brain and write this review—was the setting. The detail and painstaking care with which Lisa Black conveyed Cleveland led me to believe she had either lived there or had done an extensive amount of research on the city. So finding out she was a Cleveland native who felt like she had been violently and dramatically uprooted and shoved in the direction of Cape Coral, FL didn’t surprise me nearly as much as it could have. If you like setting to become a minor character in your reading material, and you hold a certain place in your heart for Cleveland, then you’ll probably enjoy this one.

Whether I realized it or not—and to be perfectly honest I hadn’t given it much thought before reading TAKEOVER and writing this review—I actually hold a place in my heart for Cleveland and similar industrial cities. Growing up an hour and a half south of Pittsburgh, I had no problem taking the blue-collar mentality to heart, and I like to think I still harbor a bit of that tendency even now. And this almost sounds sacrilegious with Pittsburgh always looming on my horizon, but I actually like Cleveland, as long as it’s not the middle of winter. More so than other cities I’ve seen, there seems to be a vast and distinct contrast between the old and the new. That dichotomy has always given it a bit of a pop, and that burst of energy is felt throughout this novel, seeping through every fiber of every page.

But this novel isn’t all blue collared shirts and punch clocks, it causes serious men to face serious consequences for their actions, and the ticking clock looms like an albatross in the background, as various deadlines are put in place. And that’s where the novel strayed for me a bit, as it felt, at times, like a paint-by-the-numbers hostage situation with rising tension and violent interludes.

I ended up racing to the end of this book, not because I had to finish it, but because I needed to finish it, so I could abruptly shift my focus to the next novel looming on my Kindle. The novel felt a bit too formulaic for my tastes. Moving to the sunshine once again, there’s a linebacker crushing twist waiting for you at the end, if you stick around long enough to find it.

Storytelling Ability

Posted on July 12, 2014 by Robert Downs

All The Pretty Girls by J.T. Ellison
My Rating: 4/5 Stars

Like a songwriter who writes his chorus before he discovers his verse, I rarely ever start a mystery/thriller series at the beginning. ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS is no exception to this rule; however, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed J.T. Ellison‘s debut novel. Sure, it’s easy to make the argument that this book was a bit formulaic at times, but unless you write literary fiction, what book isn’t? With only 20 plots (or 3 or 7 or 36, depending on whom you ask) to work with, it’s not like authors have an abundance of choices out there. What it really boils down to is character and storytelling ability. And I’d say Ms. Ellison has both in spades.

Lieutenant Taylor Jackson and Dr. John Baldwin made the story interesting for me, even if they weren’t quite fully-formed, and I gathered pages the way a squirrel might gather nuts. I was suspended and dangling, although I still had a firm grip on reality.

Even as I reached the end, I found myself wanting more, of these characters and of this city. But I didn’t find myself craving more dead bodies. All in all I’ll be interested to see where this series goes next.

Turbocharged Harley

Posted on July 7, 2014 by Robert Downs

Dear Daughter by Elizabeth Little
My Rating: 4/5 Stars

When you slack off for a few days and seek praise in your own writing, bad things tend to happen. With me, my memory went to shit on a stick. So (like Will Ferrell in Old School during the great debate) let me regurgitate DEAR DAUGHTER in a stream of consciousness before I’m even more fucked than I already am.

Janie Jenkins decided to take everything she had discovered over the course of her life—before she ended up in the pokey—and leave it on the side of the road. Her clothes, hair, name, and confidence…broken like a baseball bat. Her ability to mess around until the sun goes down with a semi-famous rock star. Gone. She may have been tabloid fodder with her feet firmly planted in an alternate reality, even as her mom tried to pull the minivan out of the driveway. But she had more than enough intelligence to jam a crucifix in that plan, and stay in the course in that multi-horse town.

With her eyes downcast, and nothing to go on but a place and a date, she seeks justice for a crime she didn’t commit, even if she can’t get those ten years of her life back. But she’s bound and determined to even the score. Her character reminded me of a stray cat that had been kicked a little too much, and missed more meals than she received. Her mom couldn’t have offered a better plug for contraceptives, although she didn’t end up being a total loss.

All the small town and South Dakota atmosphere needed was a six shooter, black hat, cloud of dust, and some western theme music. Yeah, the town nearly became a character in the story, and I reminisced about my brief stint in Rapid City, where the land was flat and the trees were sparse.

The plot nudged along, until Elizabeth Little revved the engine and it took off near the end like a turbocharged Harley, and I nearly fell off and struck the pavement. Other than whiplash and a near brush with asphalt, I managed to keep my butt in my seat. I didn’t even need to dust myself off.

With that being said, I didn’t like the end. It felt like I put my head through a glass door. Otherwise, though, I was good to go. If I pick up another Elizabeth Little novel, I’ll just make sure I walk with my hand in front of my face.

I received this book for free through NetGalley.

Creeped Me Out Something Fierce

Posted on June 27, 2014 by Robert Downs

Still Missing by Chevy Stevens
My Rating: 5/5 Stars

If my mother were Lorraine O’Sullivan, I’d have shot her self-absorbed ass and fed her decomposing corpse to the coyotes, while whistling the theme to Deliverance through my missing two front teeth. Which would have presented me with one of two scenarios: either I would have been locked up so fast I wouldn’t have had time to stop whistling let alone scream for an attorney, or Clayton Falls might have thrown a parade for me on the spot, to include fire engines and penny candy and clowns and the local marching band. Either way, though, it would have ended in fireworks.

But aside from parades and jail cells, STILL MISSING creeped me out something fierce. Heck, Deliverance (which I should disclose I haven’t seen) with its mountain men and male rape scene sounds more like rainbows and pixie sticks compared to what transpires in this novel. STILL MISSING is told through flashbacks via Annie O’Sullivan’s therapy sessions, as she talks about her yearlong mountain cabin confinement, daily rape, scheduled pee breaks, and attempts to escape. David, her captor, brings a new definition to the word psychopath.

There’s also a second narrative recounting events in her life following her escape, and frankly, it doesn’t sound like her life has improved all that much. Annie sleeps in closets, jumps at any sound that races through the night, and shuts down from the world around her. She’s a victim in every sense of the word, and her strong, vibrant nature and social life suffer accordingly. Reading about her dramatic change was near gut-wrenching, but this was a book I wasn’t about to put down. With its plot twists, true-to-life characters, confinement issues, and individuals with psychopathic tendencies, this novel has something for everyone, minus the kiddos.

With her debut novel, Chevy Stevens has already proven that she’s a psychological thriller master. I’ve already purchased her follow-up NEVER KNOWING, and I eagerly await the opportunity to be creeped out all over again. I just need to take a few deep breaths before I make the plunge.

On The Back Of A Pickup Truck

Posted on June 19, 2014 by Robert Downs

Above by Isla Morley
My Rating: 2/5 Stars

I think it’s safe to say at this point in my life I was not the intended audience for this book. I wanted to show up for the party, and I had every intention of dancing with a pretty lass until the world ended, and I met my maker on the back of a pickup truck. But, alas, it twas not to be. The door was slammed in my face, and I was unable to march through the threshold. Or maybe I was at the bottom of a pit while the laughing hyena on top smiled and grinned at me.

Blythe Hallowell didn’t really work for me as a character, and as the leader of this charade, I felt more than a little cheated and dismayed. Sure, she’s lived a sheltered life, kept against her will, and has a son named Adam who is her pride and joy. But she seemed to travel back in time in both spirit and vocabulary, instead of dealing with the present apocalypse at hand. The plot seemed more than a little out of place within the ABOVE pages, and my mind raced a little too hard to fill in a few of the story gaps. Or maybe that was just my memory lapse.

Dobbs didn’t really have a decent bone in his body, and I like to see a bit more from my villains. He was more one-dimensional enemy than a man who got lost somewhere within the confines of this life or the next. And he had plenty of time to build up a little rapport with the heroine of this tale, but he failed on multiple levels.

The big escape left me grasping for more, even if my wishes were going to remain unfulfilled. And a life such as this could have used a little more bliss, even if the world was ready to end. And the big reveal at the end of this tale left me shaking my head, as I turned in for bed. I slipped away hoping to come back again someday, only to have my world filled with a shimmering array of darkness.

Maybe, though, I just need to blame myself for not getting it and call it a day, because while I like to think I have a grand master plan if the world were to come to an end tomorrow. I don’t. I’d probably just pack up my ship and sail out to sea and hope that a monster with a few extra tentacles somehow doesn’t find me.

I received this book for free through NetGalley.